Mum’s Diary
Work all day nice in am with Mr A. Took letter to Malcolm – he rang – is away this weekend. Did not go to YW. Talked about an hour to Roger about money, Roy, R career. R wants me to keep asking Roy for money. Enjoyed talking to him. 1D 1L 1S. Saw advert for receptionist – wrote. Read my hos notes.
Told MHA I needed another job – he said he’d remember. He said he wanted no money from me for what he’d done.
Roger’s/My Diary
Today I went swimming in PE. The water was lovely and warm especially as it was so cold outside. After a disastrous start to a day which began by oversleeping and then forgetting several things, it didn’t go too badly. Had very little homework to do but the work could get harder as Mr. Poyner has consulted me about doing S level Physics during my spare time. This evening watched TV including Man Utd beating Juventus 1-0 at home. Although a victory they would have hoped for a larger margin.
Notes
Mum Worked for Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens
During this period, mum worked as part-time medical secretary for the private practice of two surgeons, Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens, see Chapter 121. This practice was based at 41 Newmarket Road. She worked all day on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and half day on Fridays. On this occasion, as it was Wednesday, she worked all day. She noted that it was nice in the morning (am) with Mr Ashken (Mr A).
Malcolm Carter
Malcolm refers to Rev Malcolm Carter. He was a Methodist Minister who became mum’s friend and confidant, see Chapter 114. From Merseyside, he served in the ministry there and in Darlington and East Anglia. He was Minister at Court Hey Methodist Church from 1978 to 1986. He was the Methodist chaplain to Walton Prison, now HM Prison Liverpool, for 20 years. I found a YouTube video of him taking a service at Wonford Methodist Church in Exeter in July 2024. When he was in Norwich, he was mainly based at Bowthorpe Road Methodist Church.
Mum had written to him the previous day. Given that he lived in Norwich, I wonder why she wrote to him rather than phoning him or going to see him. In general, mum found writing such letters helpful in processing and dealing with her problems and feelings. Having been a recipient of many of these letters, and later emails, over the years, I can see why she found it helpful to write them. However, it was rarely helpful to send them and almost never pleasant to receive them!
On this occasion, she hand delivered the letter but I assume that Malcolm was not in. He phoned later and told mum that he was away the coming weekend. Mum wrote him a brief note on Sunday asking him to come the following afternoon which he did.
Young Wives
YW refers to a women’s group called Young Wives which mum was part of at St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist church, see Chapter 124, She was extremely involved in it and may have been an office bearer, possibly the secretary. She had been involved with Young Wives since we first moved to Norwich in 1960, see Chapter 79, albeit initially at Mile Cross Methodist Church. It was extremely unusual for mum to miss one of their meetings but she did on this occasion. She did not explain why.
A Conversation
Mum noted that she talked to me (Roger who mum also referred to as R) for about an hour. Topics we covered included money, my father Royle Drew (Roy) and my future career.
Background
By way of background, my parents had separated in 1973. At this point, dad was living and working in Birmingham, see Chapter 114. It is fair to say that the break-up was very acrimonious. While I enjoyed my dad’s visits, and also going to see him in Birmingham, his visits in particular were characterised by conflict and tension!
Mum especially framed many, if not all, of her interactions with us in terms of whether we sided with her or dad. I hated this weaponisation of what to me was a painful conflict. I tried to deal with it by remaining neutral and refusing to discuss one parent with the other. However, it is fair to say that, as a teenager,I got on better with my father than my mother. I tried to spend as much him with him as possible when he visited. As a result, mum thought I took his side and this led to high levels of conflict between us.
Money
Money was a particular source of tension between mum and dad. Dad consistently refused to tell mum what he earned. He did give her a monthly amount but he had recently reduced this from £120 to £90 on the basis that one of their four children, my older sister Tricia (Patricia) was at university so no longer living at home. Although dad had intended to discuss this with mum, he did not. He had simply left a note and a cheque for the reduced amount when he last visited.
Future Career
Mum noted that we talked about money and dad, and that we also talked about my future career. We had previously clashed over this or more particularly what A levels I should do. She wanted me to do maths, physics and chemistry as my sister had but I had strongly resisted that! I had not wanted to follow in Tricia’s (Patricia’s) footsteps! wanted to do chemistry but also a language. The school had said that was not possible and, for a long time, there was an impasse.
One of the key figures in resolving this was the school’s headmaster Dr Roy who gave me more time saying we could delay any decision until after I got my results, encouraged me to think about what career I wanted to pursue and told me that, if necessary, he would personally organise my timetable. Another influential person was my chemistry teacher Mr Simpson. He advised me not to study pure chemistry at university unless I wanted to teach it! He encouraged me to think about some form of engineering or especially medicine.
Medical Trajectory
By the time I had this conversation with mum, I was very much on a trajectory to apply for medicine. Despite my initial misgivings, I was doing A levels in pure maths, physics and chemistry. I was also doing a crash, one-year course in biology to enable me to be eligible for medicine.
An Enjoyable Talk
Mum noted that she enjoyed talking to me and noted that I wanted her to keep asking dad for money. It is interesting that I do not mention this conversation at all in my diary. Perhaps this indicates that it was more important to mum than it was to me. In addition, we only have mum’s word for what we discussed. I consider here to be the archetypal unreliable narrator when it comes to providing a definitive account of those conversations!
Mum Liked it When People Agreed with Her
In general, mum liked conversations with people where they agreed with her views. Conversations where people challenged her or openly disagreed with her were relatively rare and always ended badly! In this case, my career plans for medicine would very much have been ones she approved of. I suspect she would have thought that I had finally seen sense! I don’t know if I actually said that she should continue to ask dad for money. Perhaps I did or I may have said nothing when she said that was what she was doing and she took that as assent. As mentioned above, I tried to avoid discussing dad with mum or vice versa. So, if I did say this, mum would have loved itas she would have seen it as me siding with her.
Time to Talk
One final reflection on this conversation is that it was probably only possible because mum did not go to her Young Wives meeting. She was always incredibly busy, particularly with church activities. As I had stopped attending church some years earlier, this meant that our opportunities for conversations of this nature were limited. In addition, I was definitely not looking for conversations of this nature at that time and would have tried to avoid them on most occasions! Often, mum would try to talk after she came back from an early evening church commitment. But, if this was in the middle of football, or another programme I was following on TV, my response would not have been positive!
Mum’s Medication
Mum tended to note the tablets she took each day, particularly at night, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, she noted that she took one flurazepam (D for Dalmane) tablet to help her sleep, one long-acting amitriptyline (L for Lentizol) tablet for depression and one senna-containing tablet (S for Senokot) for constipation. She had been trying to wean herself off both antidepressants and sleeping tablets but had been advised by her GP to increase them once again because of her current feelings of severe depression. Recently, she had changed sleeping tablets from nitrazepam to flurazepam. She had started taking two tablets of flurazepam at night but had then reduced that dose to one.
Advert for a Receptionist
Mum saw an advert for a receptionist. She wrote about it, see Chapter 121. The next day, mum took the letter about the advert to the office of the Eastern Evening News. Two days later, Dr Pearson rang. It seems that Dr David Pearson may have been a GP who also worked at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital as a clinical assistant in diabetes. He wanted mum to go, presumably for an interview, but mum wrote “think my hours won’t fit”. I am not sure who thought this, mum or Dr Pearson.
Hospital Notes
As a medical secretary in private practice, it seems mum had access to NHS hospital records. She used this to read her own hospital notes, see Chapter 116, and to read those of her father, in January 1976. Again, she was able to do this because of her role as a medical secretary. This would not have been possible for someone who was not in that, or similar, position.
Times have changed in terms of individuals accessing their own medical records. I can now access my GP records through the NHS app although this does not yet cover hospital records as far as I know. I don’t think accessing someone else’s medical records was allowed then unless you had a professional reason to do so. Grandad, I know, had died by the time mum looked at his notes so perhaps it is a moot point but I would have hated mum accessing my medical records! This is not because I have anything to hide but because they would have been none of her business, certainly once I had reached 18.
As I write, in October 2026, the issue has been in the news after NHS staff viewed medical records in high–profile cases out of curiosity. This is strictly prohibited and those who do it risk severe professional and legal penalties including being locked out of the system, summary dismissal, criminal prosecution and regulatory referral. Specifically, it is not permitted to access your own records or those of friends or family. Like everyone else, staff should use publicly-available tools like the NHS app for that, If someone inadvertently accessed medical records, this needs to be reported to the Trust’s data protection officer. Times have changed!
Another Job
MHA is also a reference to Mr Ashken. Mum told him that she needed another job and he said he would remember, see Chapter 121. I am not sure that was the response mum was hoping for! Ideally, she would have liked to work for him full-time but he and Mr Stephens only wanted a part-time secretary in their private practice. Mr Ashken tactfully did not say that but simply said he would remember her need.
No Money
In August 1976, mum had had surgery for a kidney stone carried out by Mr Ashken, see Chapter 116. Mum had wanted to be treated privately but Mr Ashken had said, at the time, that this would not be necessary as he would treat her personally and make sure that she had a private room. I am not sure why he needed to say he would not charge her when he had already said he wouldn’t. Perhaps this was something that mum was anxious about or perhaps he just wanted to remind her of this.
Incorrect Date
In my diary, it looks as if I incorrectly entered the date as 10th October but later changed it to the 20th.
Swimming in PE
I had relatively recently started sixth form at the Hewett School, see Chapter 118. As part of that, I was doing PE as an option within general studies. I noted that I went swimming in PE. I commented that the water was “lovely and warm” in marked contrast to the cold weather outside.
Presumably, I went swimming in the school pool. At that time and subsequently, the school had its own swimming pool which had been covered in the early seventies. I recall the pool “cover”. Rather than the pool being inside a building, it was covered by a large plastic “blister”. While I imagine it was much cheaper than a building, it was also much more susceptible to damage in bad weather. The school’s 1972 magazine had a full page article dedicated to the pool.
A Note on the Weather
I rarely commented in an abstract way on the weather. However, I did sometimes refer to it, as here, when relevant to the story I was telling. I noted that it was cold. However, a weather report in the local press said that the maximum temperature was 12 to 14 C which was normal for the time of the year. There was a fresh/strong wind so perhaps that contributed to it feeling cold.
A Disastrous Start
I noted that I had had a “disastrous start” to the day but this may have been dramatic overstatement as I had overslept and forgotten “several things“. Perhaps it felt disastrous because it was out-of-character and ended up being a chaotic rush. I noted that it did not “go too badly” after that.
Level of Work
One of the recurrent themes in my diary at this time was the level of workload I had now that I was in sixth form, see Chapter 118. I was studying three A levels, pure maths, physics and chemistry and I was also taking two O levels at the end of lower sixth. These were Latin which was a three-year course I had started in fourth year and a crash, one-year biology course.
This day was a bit of an anomaly on which I commented saying that I had very little homework. I thought that the workload might increase more as one of the physics teachers had asked me to consider doing physics S level during my “spare time“. In the end, I did take S levels in physics and maths.
Mr Poyner
Mr Poyner may have taught me physics in my third year, see Chapter 103. He sadly died in March 2023. Former pupils recalled that he was a good shot with a board rubber and that he had pithy sayings, such as “If it moves, it’s biology. If it smells, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics”. This quote is widely available online with some sources attributing it to Magnus Pyke along with the addition “if you don’t understand it, it’s maths”.
According to the local press, Mr Harry Poyner gained a BA from the Open University in 1983. Born around 1932, he lived in Sheringham. He started the Open University course as he felt he was in a bit of a rut and wanted to open “a few more doors“. After he completed the course, he started a correspondence course in making and repairing clocks which was his hobby. The article reported that he had gained a degree in physics from Birmingham University and also noted that he had taught in Ormskirk, Shrewsbury and Retford. He came to the Hewett School in 1973. He was also a church organist in Cley.
UEFA Cup Second Round: Manchester United v Juventus
In the evening, I watched TV including the match between Manchester United and Juventus. Although I may have given the impression of watching the full game live, I don’t think this was the case. In common with much football at the time, only the highlights were shown on “Sportsnight” on BBC 1 from 10.30 to 11.15 pm. The match was the first leg of the second round of the 1976-77 UEFA Cup. Manchester United had beaten Ajax 2-1 on aggregate in the first round.
Although Manchester United won 1-0, I noted that they would have hoped for a bigger margin. In the end, this winning margin proved inadequate. They played the second leg the next month, in November 1976. Manchester United lost 3-0 meaning they were eliminated. Juventus went on to win the UEFA Cup that year.
Leave a Reply