Carole’s Wedding
Page Boy
In March 1965, mum noted that Carole came to bring material and I assume that this related to her wedding in June 1965. Tricia was bridesmaid and I was page boy and I believe mum made the outfits for us. In my case, these consisted of apricot silk trousers and a white shirt. I found these items in mum’s house after she died. The shirt has fake buttons and was done up using poppers while the trousers were held up by buttons on the shirt.
Top left – Auntie Bertha, Tricia and Alan
Top right – Tricia, me, dad and Alan
Above – group photo. I do not know many people but the people on the right (to Carole’s left) are Anne Evans, Alf, unknown, Eva, Roy and Olive. Tricia and I are at the front
The Event
In May 1965, grandma and grandad bought an electric kitchen clock as a wedding present for Carole. Grandad noted that it had cost 57/6. Carole and Tony were married at Harby Parish Church on Whit Monday, 7 June 1965. We left Drayton at 5.10 am and got back just before 9pm. On 9 August 1965, grandad referred to going to ours to get some photos of Carole’s wedding
A Family Tradition
This wedding was a big deal for mum. Notes she made with photos etc. record that Tricia was Carole’s bridesmaid, Carole had been bridesmaid for mum, see Chapter 62, mum had been bridesmaid for Carole’s mother, see Chapter 29, Olive and Olive had been bridesmaid for grandma, see Chapter 16. My recollections of the event are far less positive! I hated the outfit and found the service interminable. Genuinely, I was surprised to find that we went to the wedding and came back the same day as my recollections are of the service itself lasting for ages. I had only just turned five though!
Arthur Lofthouse Remarried
Arthur Lofthouse’s first wife Ella died in March 1965, see Chapter 88. He remarried in April 1967. His bride was called Jessie Marsh. I don’t believe anyone from the family went to the wedding, which was in Ormskirk, but there was a photo of it among mum’s papers. Following their wedding, Arthur and Jessie spent their honeymoon in Drayton staying with grandma and grandad. They arrived by train on 8 April and stayed until the 20th. They visited various places in and around Norfolk including Costessey, Cromer, Gorleston, Lowestoft, Southwold, Taverham and Yarmouth. Arthur took services at both Mile Cross and Drayton while he was visiting.
Other Weddings
There were other weddings during this period.
Wedding in Mansfield
In October 1967, grandad noted that mum, dad, Alan, Liz and I went for a wedding in Mansfield. He noted that this was one of dad’s nieces but it may have been Terry Dawn, dad’s nephew, as he married Sandra Hoe in that quarter. Of dad’s nieces, Jill and Heather Randall were too young. Jill was born in 1958 and Heather in 1964. Janet and Maureen Stark lived in Newark. Maureen married in 1964 and Janet in 1971. Tricia went to grandma and grandad’s. I am not exactly sure why Tricia didn’t go to the wedding but she did go to a party the same day and that may have been the reason.
Mrs Brown’s Daughter
On 29 March 1968, grandma went to a wedding at Drayton Church the daughter of Mrs Brown. I presume this wedding was at the Anglican church. If grandad were referring to the Methodist church I think he would have either said so or, more commonly, just said DMC.
Jennifer Seville
On 10 April 1968, we went to Dorothy’s in Ripon. I think I recall this trip. Certainly, I remember staying on a farm in Ripon. I would have been nearly eight at this point. I think there are also some photos of this trip, see Chapter 92. We then went to Driffield for Jennifer Seville’s wedding to Tony Potter on the 13th.
First Wedding at Drayton Methodist Church
On 27 April 1968, grandma, Amy and Eva went to see the first wedding take place at Drayton Methodist Church. Although the chapel had been built in 1892, it was only registered for weddings in 1968.
Another Wedding at Drayton Methodist Church
On 17 May 1968, grandma and Eva went to Drayton Methodist Church to arrange flowers for a wedding the next day. Grandma went to the wedding and grandad noted that it was the second wedding there since the chapel was licenced. I don’t know who got married in that ceremony nor in the first wedding.
Angela Keeble
On 22 June 1968, grandma stayed with us while mum and dad went to the wedding of Angela Keeble. She married Raymond Howard.
Betty’s Aunt Ivy
On 31 August 1968, grandma and Eva went to St Mary’s church in Hellesdon for the wedding of Betty’s Aunt Ivy. This church is some way away from the part of Hellesdon where we lived. It is on the Low Road in an area called Lower Hellesdon. I think this wedding might have been Ivy Thompson marrying Reginald Humphries but I have not been able to track the relationship to Betty. Aunt Ivy appears twice in grandad’s diary. In February 1968, she took grandma and grandad to see the caravan-type of buildings in Drayton. She had bought one and grandad noted that they and the site were much better than he had imagined. I think he was referring to Drayton Hall Park.
Keith and Dot Lilley
On 17 August 1969, mum, dad, Tricia and Liz went to a wedding in London. At this time, Alan and I were in St Leonard’s with grandma. While initially I was not sure whose wedding this was, I believe it was the wedding of Keith and Dot Lilley, friends of mum’s and dad’s from Mile Cross Methodist Church. They got married around that time and there was a photo of mum and Liz in Trafalgar Square and it is labelled as having been taken after Keith and Dot Lilley’s wedding.
The various pieces clicked together when I saw an article about them and how they had kept in touch with people in Mile Cross Methodist Church during lockdown and this mentioned that they got married in 1969 and I recalled that there was a photo of mum and Liz related to this. There is an excellent photo of them on their wedding day in that article. According to FreeBMD, Keith Lilley married Dorothy Mason in Camberwell in Q3 1969.
Simon and Peter Parkin
There were some other family weddings during this period which were not mentioned in either diary. For example, Cyril and Minnie’s grandson, Simon married Joyce Foreman in 1966. His younger brother, Peter, married Rosemary Bottrill in 1969.
Cyril and Minnie’s Golden Wedding
On 1 August 1965, mum took grandma and grandad to Ilkeston for Cyril and Minnie’s Golden Wedding anniversary. They picked up Eva in Bingham. As children, we didn’t go but stayed with dad. Grandad noted that he and mum went on a boat with Basil and Richard and that tea was at Basil’s.
Andrew Hodges
On 17 February 1965, Ken and Pearl Hodges had a son Andrew. They brought him to Norfolk in April of that year and again in August in both 1965 and 1966.
Stephen and Alison Pacey
During this period, Carole had two children. Stephen Anthony was born on 8 March 1967 and weighed 6lb 7oz. Alison Jane was born on 26 May 1969 and she weighed 7lb 9oz. Grandad noted that Olive had phoned Irene Bell with news of Alison’s birth.
Other Children
There may have been other children born in the wider family during this period that were not recorded in the diaries. In one of mum’s photo albums, I found a photo of Lynne’s children who I presume were born around this time. However, as I don’t know their names, or where Lynne and her family lived, I have not yet found details of them. There were quite a few Prices born during this period with Evans as their mother’s maiden name!
Liz
Of course, during this period, we adopted my sister Liz (Elizabeth Mary).
Elizabeth Mary
As with Tricia, I have always called Liz by the shortened form of her name although dad never did and, as far as I know, grandad was the same. Dad certainly always used her full name, Elizabeth and would comment if we referred to her as Liz when speaking to him.
Planning to Adopt
According to her diary, mum first enquired about adopting a baby in February 1965 when she spoke to the Methodist Minister Alan Warren about this. This was around a month after she thought she had had a miscarriage, see Chapter 88.
I don’t know why mum and dad decided to adopt rather than have another child themselves. Whatever the reason, the day after mum had spoken to Rev Warren, she wrote a letter and just over a week later had an X-ray for the Lancashire Adoption Society. On 9 April 1965, Mrs Yules/Youle from the adoption society came to see them and, on the 21st, they received a phone call saying they could “fetch baby” on the next Thursday.
Grandma and Grandad’s Reaction
Mum said dad went to tell grandma and grandad “but they were most annoyed”. I don’t know why or even if this was in fact the case. The first grandad mentioned about it was on the 29th when he noted that we had gone to London “for a baby girl S&R are thinking of adopting”, He noted that mum and dad had called her Elizabeth Mary.
Collecting Liz
Mum noted that they collected her from the Homeless Children’s Aid and Adoption Society. This was established by Dr F B Meyer in 1920. Records relating to adoptions through this society are held by Croydon Council.
The next day, we all went to grandma and grandad’s. Grandad referred to Liz as “the baby girl they hope to adopt” and mum noted that they seemed to accept her OK.
Legal Process
On 26 July 1965, Mrs Youle/Yules from the adoption society visited. On 4 August 1965, Miss Revell came from the Council. I presume this was in relation to Liz’s adoption but the diaries do not say so explicitly. On 16 August 1965, grandad noted that mum and dad went to court to have Liz legally transferred to them. But, mum said this was 30th. There were some legal papers relating to Liz’s adoption among mum’s papers when she died. But, I passed these to Liz. Liz was christened at Mile Cross on 10 October 1965.
My Recollections
I have vague recollections of going to collect Liz from London and coming back perched on the back seat with Alan and Tricia with Liz in a carrycot behind us. I don’t know how accurate that memory is, I was only four at the time, and also it could be one of those memories based more on the story being told in the family than on the actual event.
Tracing her Birth Mother
While I have always been aware that Liz was adopted, it has never been at the forefront of my thinking. I have always thought of her as my sister and not as my adopted sister. I think it did perhaps matter more to her as, in the late eighties/early nineties, she traced her birth mother, Norma. Norma was young and unmarried when Liz was born and, as was common at the time, she was adopted. I understand that Norma and Liz’s father later married and had two other daughters. However, at the time Liz and Norma were reunited, Norma and Liz’s father were divorced and I don’t think Liz is in contact with him. I understand that Liz’s birth name was Debra and I think this is her daughter Kirstin’s middle name.
Much later, the fact that Liz was adopted may have been an issue in the breakdown of relationship between mum and Liz which occurred towards the end of mum’s life and became irreconcilable. Liz recalled mum saying that she wished she had never adopted her. Liz felt that she had been adopted into the care of someone who was mentally ill/unstable.