Mum’s Diary
Cold seemed better but returned in evening. V busy at work – v. nice though. Went to 166 in evening to show U Arthur’s slides of This is His Life. Quite good – he did not mention Auntie Ella or Dorothy until we did. Andrew here when I got back. Stopped losing v dark blood. 1 T 2 Anadins & 1 Lemsip.
Roger’s/My Diary
Got up early this morning but to get my room in order and consequently got into trouble. This lunch-time after being on duty I played my guitar with Gary in the classroom. Mr Chaplin wants 2 people to work 2 evenings a week as lab. assistants. There have been a lot of volunteers. After school there was a group practice which was a farce as we were drowned by a drummer & guitarist on stage. This evening went round Everard’s.
Notes
A Cold
Mum had thought she was developing a cold the previous night. However, the symptoms seemed better during the day only to return in the evening, see Chapter 116.
Mum Worked for Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens
During this period, mum worked as part-time medical secretary for the private practice of two surgeons, Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens, see Chapter 121. This practice was based at 41 Newmarket Road. She worked all day on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and half day on Fridays. On this occasion, as it was Tuesday, she worked all day. She noted that it was very busy but she considered it also very nice.
166 Drayton High Road
166 is a reference to my grandmother’s bungalow at 166 Drayton High Road. She had grandad had had it built in 1964, following their move to Norwich, and she had lived in it since. Following her death, it was sold but, in 2023, I was fortunate to be able to visit the house as it was about to be sold once again.
Uncle Arthur
Uncle Arthur (U Arthur) refers to Rev Arthur Lofthouse. He was not a relative but rather a close family friend. At that time, we were required to refer to such adults as uncle and aunt even though I recall it being confusing as to who I was and was not related to! Mum had been brought up with the same system.
Rev Lofthouse had been the Minister at Bourne Methodist Church in Kirkby from 1938 to 1942, see Chapter 31. He and his then wife Ella and daughter Dorothy had become firm family friends. Ella had sadly died in 1965 and Rev Lofthouse had remarried in 1967, see Chapter 89. His bride was called Jessie Marsh. I don’t believe anyone from the family went to the wedding, which was in Ormskirk, but there was a photo of it among mum’s papers. Following their wedding, Arthur and Jessie spent their honeymoon in Drayton staying with grandma and grandad. At this time, Arthur and Jessie Lofthouse were visiting grandma.
George Arthur Lofthouse
George Arthur Lofthouse was a Primitive Methodist Minister who was born on 22 August 1901 in Brotton, Yorkshire and who died in 1991. He was ordained in 1932 as one of the last ordinands in the Primitive Methodist Church and one of the first ministers of the Uniting Conference, see Chapter 31.
Slide Show
It was quite common, at this time, to show photos among family and friends using a slide projector and screen, see Chapter 122. This required buying specific slide film and both mum and grandad commonly did this. I am not exactly sure whose slides were being presented and by whom. The way mum words it would seem to imply that she was doing the showing but it seems more likely that it was Arthur Lofthouse showing his slides. Perhaps mum just took her projector and screen.
“This is His Life“
The slide show was titled “This is His Life” which is clearly a reference to the popular TV show “This is Your Life“. I assume this means that Arthur gave a slide presentation about his own life. I find this a bit odd, not so much that he showed slides but that he titled it this way. It is possible that mum put the slide show together but then I think she might have called it “This is Your Life“. Given that, at this point, Arthur Lofthouse was 75, it is possible that some sort of slide show could have been compiled for some kind of retirement service and he wanted to show this to mum and grandma.
Mum thought it was quite good but was concerned that he did not mention his first wife Ella or daughter Dorothy until she and grandma did. It is possible that he did not mention them because it was painful for him as his first wife had died or perhaps it was sensitive as he had remarried. It is also possible that, if it had been produced for some kind of retirement service, it focused on his professional and Ministerial life. Nevertheless, it does seem a bit odd that he did not mention them.
“This is Your Life“
It was by no means unusual to use the “This is Your Life” format in this way. The previous year, in 1975, a similar format had been used for St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church as part of their anniversary services, see Chapter 124.
“This is Your Life” was a very popular and well-known TV programme which was first broadcast in the UK in 1955. It was presented mainly by Eamonn Andrews and then Michael Aspel until the show ended in 2003. Trevor McDonald presented a one-off special in 2007.
Andrew Wright
Andrew refers to Andrew Wright. Mum noted that he was at ours when she got back from grandma’s. He was someone that mum and Tricia (Patricia) knew from St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church, see Chapter 124. I think he had some role in relation to young people in the church. He and Tricia were friends but mum had reservations about this friendship because Andrew was older and married! To be fair, Tricia was 18 and could make her own decisions about any friendships she had. In addition, there was an element of “the pot calling the kettle black” as mum also had close friendships with married men within the church!
Bleeding
Mum had problems related to her periods at this time, including spotting and mid-period bleeding which ended up with her being referred for removal of a polyp and ultimately hysterectomy, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, she noted that she had been losing dark red blood but that this had stopped.
Mum’s Medication
Mum tended to note the tablets she took each day, particularly at night, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, she noted that she took one amitriptyline (T for Tryptizol) for depression and she took two Anadin and one Lemsip for her cold.
Anadin is a well-known brand name for pain relief. The original Anadin, first produced in 1932, is a mixture of aspirin and caffeine but Anadin products containing ibuprofen and paracetamol are now available.
Lemsip is a very well-known British branded cold remedy containing paracetamol and phenylephrine hydrochloride. First produced in 1969, this medicine is still available today. Most well-known is the orginal hot lemon drink but various products are now available under the Lemsip brand.
Getting a Room in Order
I noted that I got up early “to get my room in order”. I had moved bedrooms the previous day. As my older sister Tricia (Patricia) was moving to university, I had wanted to swap bedrooms with her. At this point, we were living at 192 College Road, a large semi-detached property, see Chapter 117. I think, when we moved in, it had five bedrooms over two floors but mum then split the front bedroom on the first floor into two. Initially, these rooms were occupied by my brother Alan and me. Mum and my sister Liz (Elizabeth) had first floor rooms while Tricia had an attic bedroom and mum had her office in the second attic room.
Attic Room
I was keen to move to an attic room. Partly, I think it was because it was a bigger room and partly because, as a teenager, I thought an attic room was cool. At that time, my relationship with my mother was very difficult so it also meant I was perhaps a bit further away from mum and the associated conflicts!
A Counter Offer
However, mum “suggested” that I have her office instead. I don’t know if this was her actually refusing as, in my experience, her “suggestions” were usually coded commands! Nevertheless, as her office was also in the attic, I was quite happy to do this. In many ways, I guess I would have been happier to be next to Tricia’s largely vacant room than next to mum’s office. I guess mum was probably happier not to have her office next to my room too!
Alan Got Tricia’s Room
Two years later, when I went to university, Alan was given Tricia’s room, which perhaps says something about the hierarchy of affection mum had among us siblings! Rather than just swapping the two rooms, I was moved to Alan’s room, Tricia to what was at that point the office and mum’s office back to my attic room where it had been previously. I don’t know why Alan was allowed Tricia’s room and I was not. To be honest, I do not recall this move. When I went to university, I had, in my mind anyway, moved out. although I did stay at home for visits, I never went back to live there.
The Move
I suspect mum was happier to have her office in an attic room. The previous day, mum noted that Tricia (P for Patricia) and I (R for Roger) helped her move her “office” to what was my bedroom. She commented that my younger sister Liz (E for Elizabeth) also helped a bit. Mum noted that the reason she saw for this move was to allow me to work in quiet.
I also noted the move in my diary referring to moving my stuff to mum’s office. I commented that it was very tiring but it was done although I noted that the room was still in a mess and a lot needed doing.
In Trouble
I noted that I “got into trouble” over this but did not say exactly why or with whom. It seems odd that I would have got into trouble for essentially tidying my room! I think my frustration with this can be sensed from my diary entry. However, the “early” part might provide the clue! I don’t know how early it was but I suspect I was making quite a bit of noise and I am confident that it was mum I was in trouble with. My recollection of that time was that I was always in trouble and I felt I could almost never do anything right!
It is interesting the mum makes no mention of this particularly as she documented conflict between us more often than I did. I think I just took it as background noise as conflict between us was part and parcel of everyday life at home at that time, see Chapter 114. Clearly, for me, this getting into trouble was something out of the ordinary but possibly not for mum.
Dinner Duty
As I was now in the Hewett sixth form, see Chapter 118, I was expected to be a prefect. One of the key responsibilities we had as prefects was to supervise the dining hall at lunch-time. We referred to this as “dinner duty” and the incongruity of doing “dinner duty” at “lunch-time” was lost on us then! On this occasion, I referred to what I did after this duty.
Lunch-time
Based on my family’s working class background in Nottinghamshire, we had tended to refer to our meals as dinner and tea. However, given that we had moved to Norwich in 1960, and possibly because we were becoming more middle class, some of that usage was changing and family members sometimes, and perhaps increasingly, referred to a midday meal as lunch, see Chapter 92 although we continued to refer to an afternoon or early evening meal as tea. Here, I referred to lunch-time.
Playing Guitar
I was trying to learn to play the guitar at this point but was never very successful, see Chapter 122. However, I had brought my guitar into school for a later group practice so Gary Wood and I spent some time at lunch-time in our classroom playing our guitars.
Gary Wood
Gary refers to Gary Wood who was one of my closest friends at school, see Chapter 118. He and I had a lot in common. In addition to both playing, or trying to play, the guitar, we both later had motorbikes and we both worked at Sainsbury’s in Anglia Square, see Chapter 119. Gary went on both the camping trips I went on to France in 1975 and 1976. He worked at “Le Paradis” in the summer of 1977.
In 1976, Gary won an endeavour prize and, in 1978, the Sheriff’s Prize for Art. In 1978, he passed A levels in pure maths, physics, chemistry and art. He went on to study physics in York. He is a member of the Hewett Facebook group but uses the name Robert Wood. Apparently, Robert is his first name but he used Gary as Robert was also his father’s name. His Facebook page notes that he studied architecture in Rome, Cambridge, Harvard and London, that he has his own architecture studio and lives in France.
Group Practice
I was part of a music group while at the Hewett School, see Chapter 118. This was not something organised by the school. Rather, we did it ourselves. We practised a lot but we never had a name and I don’t think we ever performed! From memory, we practiced in one of the rooms off the open corridor alongside the Upper School hall. Based on my diaries, the group was pretty short-lived from around March to September 1976.
I am not sure what my role was as I could not play an instrument, although I was trying to learn guitar, and I don’t recall singing! I think mostly the others in the group sort of humoured me! On this occasion, we had a group practice after school but I noted that it was a farce as we were drowned out by a drummer and an electric guitarist on the stage. I recall this incident including that Gary might have joined them then or later. I think that was pretty much the end of our group.
Laboratory Assistants
I noted that Mr Chaplin, the head of chemistry was looking for two students to work two evenings per week as laboratory assistants. I noted that there had been a lot of interest. Ultimately, Everard and I were asked to do this, see Chapter 118. I am not sure why we were chosen. I would like to say aptitude and talent! However, it may also have been that our families’ financial situations were known to be less favourable than others. Everard’s father had died, see Chapter 116, and my parents had separated, see Chapter 114.
Brian Chaplin
I had a chemistry teacher at O level who signed themselves BSC and I wonder if this was Mr Chaplin. Based on a Facebook post, I think Mr Chaplin’s first name might have been Brian, see Chapter 118.
Everard Mascarenhas
Everard refers to Everard Mascarenhas who I knew through school, see Chapter 118. He and I were close friends in sixth form which we were just starting. He lived near me in Park Lane so we often walked to and from school together. Also later, we worked together at Sainsbury’s in Anglia Square, see Chapter 119. In 1976, he won an endeavour prize. In 1978, he passed A level physics. He was part of the school football team. Apparently, he read physics at University College Swansea, has a PhD in semi-conductor devices from Nottingham Trent University and an MBA from Imperial College. On this occasion, I went round to his house in the evening.
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