Sunday 26 September 1976

Mum’s Diary

P fetched Peter & Nicola Elworthy to church in am. I went – Fam Service. WGBR not as bad as sometimes. Mr M played hymns very slowly. Went to Drayton in aft, I went to service. Uncle Arthur & Auntie Jessie there. U. Arthur preacher – quite good. Went to B Rd at night. Malcolm – v good service. Roger still edgy! ~~No tabs~~. 1S.

Roger’s/My Diary

This morning while the others were celebrating Harvest Festival I went round Everard’s. His mother and elder brother have gone to London to take some things to a girl who is going to Canada so that they can be given to Everard’s sister. This afternoon we went to grandma’s. Uncle Arthur and his wife were there. Mum went to church as Uncle Arthur was preaching. Tricia goes to Cambridge on Sunday. I wanted to have her room but instead mum has suggested that I should have her office and she’ll have my room to work in.

Notes

Picking Up the Young Elworthys

P refers to my older sister Tricia (Patricia). She was 18 at this point and could drive. It seems she used mum’s car to pick up Peter and Nicola Elworthy to take them to St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church in the morning (am), see Chapter 124. They were the young children of Ken and Heather Elworthy. Ken was the junior Minister at Park Lane at that time.

I assume Tricia picked them up as Rev Elworthy was probably taking a service at another church in the circuit. Heather had just had a baby in August, Tabitha. So, this was probably something Tricia and/or mum had offered in order to help out.

I am not sure exactly how old Peter and Nicola were as I have not been able to locate birth records for them. This is slightly odd and makes me wonder if they were perhaps adopted although there could be other reasons for not being able to find the records, such as transcription error.

Family Service

Mum noted that she went to the morning service at church. Interestingly, she referred to this as a family service (Fam Service) when, in fact, it was the church’s Harvest Festival, see Chapter 124. She and my sister Tricia (Patricia) had helped decorate the church the previous day and there had been a Harvest Supper at church the previous evening.

St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church decorated for Harvest. I am not sure exactly which year this was, as the photo was unlabelled, but it is likely to be mid-seventies

Faint Praise

WGBR refers to Rev W G B Ream who was the senior Minister at St Peter’s Park Lane at that time. Mum had a very difficult relationship with him and was often highly critical of his services, see Chapter 124, and she often avoided them! She did go on this occasion and “not as bad as sometimes” qualifies as quite high praise given the context!

News cutting with notice of Methodist services on 26 September 1976. This confirms that the morning service at St Peter’s was the Harvest Thanksgiving led by Rev Ream

Rev William (Bill) George Bertram Ream

Rev Ream was born in Stockport in July 1912. He entered the Methodist ministry in 1935 and served in Newcastle-under-Lyme and High Wycombe before coming to Norwich in 1974. During his time at St Peter’s, he was active in Norwich Council of Churches and Amnesty International. Afterwards, he retired but remained in Norwich. He died in Norwich in July 1999, see Chapter 124.

Rev W G B Ream in 1989 from interview for St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church 50^th anniversary video

Slow Hymns

Mr M refers to Mr Martin who was church organist and choirmaster at this time, see Chapter 124. This was another person mum was not the biggest fan of! On this occasion, she complained that he played the hymns very slowly, a pet hate of hers!

Bill Martin

Bill Martin was organist and choirmaster at St Peter’s for more than 40 years, see Chapter 124. He ran a family florist and seed business at 18 Lower Goat Lane, now divided into three premises and, as of August 2024, home to The Norfolk Beauty Rooms, The Den and Maddermarket Antiques. When he retired as organist and choirmaster, he was given a nice gift, possibly a clock. When the new organist left after only a short time, the church asked Mr Martin if he could temporarily pretend he had not retired and come back! Apparently, he said yes but he wasn’t giving the clock back!

Sunday Afternoon Tea

Both mum and I noted that we went to Drayton in the afternoon (aft). This was where grandma lived and it was our usual practice, throughout my childhood and teenage years, to go there for tea on Sunday afternoons, see Chapter 122.

Uncle Arthur

Uncle Arthur refers to Rev Arthur Lofthouse. He was not a relative but rather a close family friend. At that time, we were required to refer to such adults as uncle and aunt even though I recall it being confusing as to who I was and was not related to! Rev Lofthouse had been the Minister at Bourne Methodist Church in Kirkby from 1938 to 1942, see Chapter 31. He and his then wife Ella and daughter Dorothy had become firm family friends. Ella had sadly died in 1965 and Rev Lofthouse had remarried in 1967, see Chapter 89. His bride was called Jessie Marsh. I don’t believe anyone from the family went to the wedding, which was in Ormskirk, but there was a photo of it among mum’s papers. Following their wedding, Arthur and Jessie spent their honeymoon in Drayton staying with grandma and grandad. At this time, Arthur and Jessie Lofthouse were visiting grandma.

Wedding of Arthur Lofthouse and Jessie Marsh in April 1967. Dorothy and Alf Taylor are on the left of the photograph. I presume the two other people in the photograph are Jessie’s children or perhaps child and spouse

George Arthur Lofthouse

George Arthur Lofthouse was a Primitive Methodist Minister who was born on 22 August 1901 in Brotton, Yorkshire and who died in 1991. He was ordained in 1932 as one of the last ordinands in the Primitive Methodist Church and one of the first ministers of the Uniting Conference, see Chapter 31.

Dorothy and Arthur Lofthouse in around 1940

Afternoon Service

Grandma was an active member of Drayton Methodist Church, see Chapter 79. At this time, they had services in the morning and afternoon and grandma usually attended both. On this occasion, both mum and I noted that she went with grandma in the afternoon as Rev Lofthouse was the preacher. Mum noted that he was “quite good” which sounds about as critical as she could be for someone who was such a staunch family friend!

Drayton Methodist Church © Jeremy Osborne and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence

Evening Service

Mum went to the evening service at Bowthorpe Road Methodist Church (B Rd). Although she was a member at St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church, she had begun to develop a habit of going to one service at St Peter’s and another at Bowthorpe Road. While she did this initially to avoid services led by Rev Ream, this was not the case on this occasion. Perhaps it was just becoming a regular habit but she also particularly liked the services taken by Rev Malcolm Carter, see Chapter 124.

Bowthorpe Road Methodist Church

Originally opened in 1974, this church is now the base for the Chinese Methodist church in Norwich, see Chapter 79. A new extension was built in 2018 but it was built out of position so there was a possibility that it would need to be demolished. However, it seems that that fate was averted in 2020.

Malcolm Carter

Malcolm refers to Rev Malcolm Carter. He was a Methodist Minister who became mum’s friend and confidant, see Chapter 114. From Merseyside, he served in the ministry there and in Darlington and East Anglia. He was Minister at Court Hey Methodist Church from 1978 to 1986. He was the Methodist chaplain to Walton Prison, now HM Prison Liverpool, for 20 years. I found a YouTube video of him taking a service at Wonford Methodist Church in Exeter in July 2024. When he was in Norwich, he was mainly based at Bowthorpe Road Methodist Church. On this occasion, he was the preacher at the evening service that mum attended, see Chapter 124. She thought this was very good.

Edgy

Mum described me (Roger) as “still edgy“. I am not exactly sure what she meant by this and I can’t see any earlier reference to me being edgy. It is fair to say that my relationship with my mother was very difficult at this time and my recollection is that conflict between us was more the rule than the exception. To me, with hindsight, this was pretty much a case of normal teenager/parent conflict but, I am sure, my mother would have said that I was worse than my other siblings! I think possible factors in that were that I was the only one who had refused point blank to continue attending church, see Chapter 124, and mum also felt she did not get rock-solid support from me in her conflicts with dad. My parents had separated in 1973 and dad was living and working in Birmingham at this point, see Chapter 114.

This image is from Christmas 1980. It shows me sitting between mum and dad. It provides a good visual illustration of how the late seventies and beyond felt, for me, in the middle of mum and dad and their conflicts

As far as I can see from my diaries, I did not record any particular conflict between us at this time. So, I conclude that mum’s perception of “my edginess” probably just reflected out difficult relationship at that time and that she sometimes read things into my mood and behaviour that were not completely accurate!

Mum’s Medication

Mum tended to note the tablets she took each day, particularly at night, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, it seems she was initially going to write “no tabs”, that is “no tablets” but she struck it out and recorded that she took one senna-containing tablet (S for Senokot) for constipation.

Visiting A Friend

It is striking that while other family members were “celebrating Harvest Festival” at church, I went to visit a friend, Everard Mascarenhas, see Chapter 118. Ironically, he lived on Park Lane not far from the church! I noted that his mother and older brother had gone to London to give some things to “a girl” who was going to Canada so that she could take them to Everard’s sister who was living and working there for a year.

While this route for getting something to someone in Canada might seem oddly inefficient in this interconnected age, we relied on such packages delivered in person by visiting friends and relatives when we lived in Zimbabwe in the late eighties and early nineties.

Everard Mascarenhas

I knew Everard through school, see Chapter 118. He and I were close friends in sixth form which we were just starting. As well as living near me in Park Lane, he also later worked together at Sainsbury’s in Anglia Square, see Chapter 119. In 1976, he won an endeavour prize. In 1978, he passed A level physics. He was part of the school football team. Apparently, he read physics at University College Swansea, has a PhD in semi-conductor devices from Nottingham Trent University and an MBA from Imperial College.

Going to Cambridge

Tricia refers to my older sister Patricia. She had just finished school and was about to go to Newnham College in Cambridge to study national sciences, see Chapter 120. She was the first person in our immediate family to go to university.

A Bedroom “Grab”

It seems that as Tricia was moving to university, I wanted to swap bedrooms with her. At this point, we were living at 192 College Road, a large semi-detached property, see Chapter 117. I think, when we moved in, it had five bedrooms over two floors but mum then split the front bedroom on the first floor into two. Initially, these rooms were occupied by my brother Alan and me. Mum and my sister Liz (Elizabeth) had first floor rooms while Tricia had an attic bedroom and mum had her office in the second attic room.

Front of 192 College Road taken in August 2022. The upstairs window led to my original room on the left and Alan’s on the right. When I went to university in 1978, my room was moved to the room on the right that had been Alan’s

An Attic Room

I was keen to move to an attic room. Partly, I think it was because it was a bigger room and partly because, as a teenager, I thought an attic room was cool. It also meant I was perhaps a bit further away from mum and the associated conflicts! I don’t know if mum refused because, in my experience, her “suggestions” were coded commands! Nevertheless, as her office was also in the attic, I was quite happy to do this. In many ways, I guess I would have been happier to be next to Tricia’s largely vacant room than next to mum’s office. I guess mum was probably happier not to have her office next to my room too!

Alan Was Given Tricia’s Room

Two years later, when I went to university, Alan was given Tricia’s room, which perhaps says something about the hierarchy of affection mum had among us siblings! Rather than just swapping the two rooms, I was moved to Alan’s room, Tricia to what was at that point the office and mum’s office back to my attic room where it had been previously. I don’t know why Alan was allowed Tricia’s room and I was not. To be honest, I do not recall this move. When I went to university, I had, in my mind anyway, moved out. although I did stay at home for visits, I never went back to live there.