Mum’s Diary
Rained all day. Went to Yarmouth in aft. As we got there exhaust went on car. Had AA who brought me home on Relay. PRAE & Roy came back by train. after going on fair – P treated them. Roy not made any inquiries about med ins with NU. Feel very bitter again, he just takes everything for granted. 1 Len 2 Sen 2 Par.
Roger’s/My Diary
It was Bank Holiday Monday today and it rained all day but eased off towards the evening. Mum & Tricia had been planning to take us to Walcott but due to the weather we went to Yarmouth on the funfair at Tricia’s expense. However the car was making a funny noise so we called the AA who came & said the exhaust was cracked so he towed the car home & we came home by train. This evening dad & I went to see if Verity was in she wasn’t so we went to the pub. I came home & played my guitar. Dad goes back tomorrow – I’ve got to get him up at ½ past 6.
Notes
Bank Holiday Monday
In my diary, I noted that it was Bank Holiday Monday. This was already noted in mum’s pre-printed diary,
Rained All Day
Both mum and I noted that it rained all day. I noted that it eased off towards the evening but that we changed our plans due to the weather. We had been due to go to the beach at Walcott but went to the fair in Yarmouth instead.
Yarmouth
Mum noted that we went to Yarmouth in the afternoon (aft). We went on the funfair and Tricia (P for Patricia) paid. I think she did so for a combination of two reasons. First, she had spent the summer working in the City Treasurer’s Office so had earned some money, see Chapter 119. Also, she was about to leave home to go to university in Cambridge, see Chapter 120. So, I expect she thought it would be nice to do something for and with her siblings before she left.
A Broken Exhaust
As we arrived in Yarmouth, mum noted that the “exhaust went” on the car. I noted that the car was making a “funny noise” and that the person from the AA was the one who said that the exhaust was cracked. At this time, mum had a Simca that she and dad had bought in February 1972 before they split up, see Chapter 110. It is fair to say that this car was not the most reliable at this time! At the end of July, the clutch had gone in Glasgow! Mum and my siblings, Alan and Liz (Elizabeth), had had to travel home by train and plane with the car coming a few days later by AA Relay, see Chapter 116.
AA to the Rescue
Mum was an enthusiastic and loyal member of the AA, see Chapter 95. She strongly advised me to join as soon as I was able to drive which I did, probably initially on her membership. I have been a member ever since, apart from when we were living overseas.
So she called them and they brought her home “on Relay” which is now also known as national recovery.
Mum particularly praised the relay service which was relatively new having been introduced in 1973. You paid, and still pay, extra for this but it means that if you break down some distance from home, the AA will bring your broken-down vehicle home rather than taking it to a local garage. While we have not used the service often, when we have needed to, it has been a “lifesaver” and has turned what could have been a crisis into something manageable.
Contrasting Experiences
This was the second car breakdown I had experienced in two days, see Chapter 127! The previous day, dad and I had been travelling back from Birmingham, where he lived and worked, in a Norwich Union car. It broke down near Swaffham. Unlike mum, dad was not a member of the AA. So, he needed to try to find a garage that was open on a Sunday. Eventually, he found one but by then a friend of his, Dave O’Neill, was already coming from Norwich to see if he could fix it. Dave took the car to the garage and brought dad and me to Norwich.
These experiences not only illustrated the vastly different ways in which my parents approached car travel, they were illustrative of their broader approaches to life in general. My mother was hyper-organised, arranging things well in advance with contingency plans in place should things not worked out as planned. In contrast, my father was much more spontaneous rarely planning things and often doing something on the spur of the moment. Given that he rarely had a plan in place, he just dealt with contingencies as they arose. I think these fundamental differences were certainly one factor in why they proved to be quite incompatible.
Home by Train
PRAE refers to me (R for Roger) and my siblings Tricia (P for Patricia), Alan and Liz (E for Elizabeth). Roy refers to our father Royle Drew. He was with us for the weekend and had come with us to Yarmouth. Making a trip out like this with both parents was a very rare experience since they had separated in 1973. While I think I did enjoy such trips, the underlying tension between mum and dad was never far below the surface and it was often easier and more stress-free to do things individually with them!
On this occasion, dad, my siblings and I went back to Norwich by train while mum was brought home by the AA. I am not entirely sure why we did this as I think the AA would have transported us all. Maybe mum or dad thought the train trip might be more pleasant for us and it might be easier for mum and the AA if she were on her own.
Private Medical Insurance
Mum noted that dad (Roy) had not made any enquiries about medical insurance (med ins) with the Norwich Union (NU) for whom dad worked. I am not exactly sure what was going on here but I suspect mum had asked dad to make enquiries about private medical insurance through the Norwich Union and dad had not yet done so!
Mum’s Experience of Private Healthcare
I think mum possibly wanted this insurance because she worked as part-time secretary for the private practice of two surgeons, see Chapter 121, and saw the kind of personalised service private patients received. She had experienced that service recently when she had had surgery for a renal stone, see Chapter 116. As the surgery had been carried out by Mr Ashken, one of the surgeons for whom she worked, he had treated her as if she were a private patient but without charging her.
Following that surgery, she had been found to have hypercalcaemia and had been referred to renal physician, Dr Jack Pryor. She was due to see him privately and, I guess, without medical insurance, she would probably have had to pay for this which she could ill afford. To be honest, I am not sure that medical insurance would have helped that specific situation much as I suspect it would have excluded pre-existing conditions.
Dad’s Inaction
Anyway, dad had not done anything about it. Partly, this probably just reflected dad’s relaxed attitude to things. He might do something or he might not. Also, this was probably one of a constant stream of things mum still wanted him to do! Finally, as with most things, he and mum probably had fundamentally different views about private medical insurance. Mum liked it because she valued the highly personalised treatment provided by consultants. I suspect dad was not a fan as he was a strong supporter of, and believer in, the NHS.
Broader Parental Conflict
Anyway, mum was annoyed by this issue. She said that she felt very bitter again, although my reflection would be that I am not sure any bitterness had previously ended! She felt that dad just took “everything” for granted. It is important to note that, as with everything from her diaries, it only gives her point of view and I suspect dad’s take on this incident would have been very different!
Mum’s Medication
Mum noted the medication she took that day, see Chapter 116. This included long-acting amitriptyline (Len for Lentizol) for depression, senna (Sen for Senokot) for constipation and paracetamol (Par) for pain.
Trying to Visit a Friend
In the evening, back in Norwich, dad and I went to try to visit his friend Verity Gibson. However, she was not in.
This experience of trying to visit people but finding they were out was a bit of a constant theme of life with dad. The previous Saturday, after dad had picked me up in Matlock from a solo youth hostelling trip I had been on, see Chapter 122, we went to Birmingham via Kirkby-in-Ashfield to visit my grandmother. However, she was also out and we found out later she had gone away for the weekend!
On another occasion, dad had taken my younger sister Liz (Elizabeth) and me to Norwich from Birmingham via London! He used to live there and wanted to pick up some things from friends. We got there only to find they were out! He did manage to track them down though!
While these issues do reflect the technology of the time, that is before mobile phones and texting, they also illustrate my father’s approach to pre-planning!
Verity Gibson
Dad knew Verity Gibson through their mutual involvement with the Liberal party. Verity had an MA from Edinburgh and a Diploma in Education. She taught in a number of schools both in the UK and in the United States. Her community interests included the welfare of children in hospital. She was honorary secretary of the Norwich Liberal Association.
I remember her. She and dad were friends, see Chapter 99, and I recall going to her house on a number of occasions with dad. From memory, she lived off Newmarket Road at 12 Albert Terrace. I recall that she had two children. One of them was a daughter called Ruth who had a serious, possibly congenital illness. I understand that Verity was the first wife of Ian Gibson. He later became Labour MP for Norwich North. At that time, I think, dad described him as an International Socialist.
From the Wikipedia account, it seems Ian Gibson was a member of the Socialist Workers Party before joining the Labour Party in 1983. Wikipedia indeed notes that his first wife was called Verity. However, that indicated that she was a social worker rather than a teacher as mentioned in the 1972 election blurb. I found some details of a Verity Gibson working as a social worker with deaf and blind people. Wikipedia also notes that Ian and Verity had two daughters – Dominique and Ruth. Ruth sadly died in 1993. She was 26 having been born on 11 December 1967.
Defaulting to the Pub
Given that we had not found Verity in, we headed to the pub which was dad’s default destination of choice! While I did not say which pub it was, it was likely to have been The Garden House, as this was effectively his “local” when he was in Norwich, see Chapter 122. As mum’s social life revolved around the church, dad’s revolved around the pub among other places. This was another area where they were very different and probably incompatible!
Playing Guitar
I am not sure if I came home before dad or if we came home together. Either is possible but, the way my diary is written, perhaps the former is more likely. When I got home, I played my guitar. At that time, I was trying to teach myself to play guitar but without much success, see Chapter 122! Nevertheless, I often spent time playing or practising my guitar.
Early Start
I noted that dad was going back the next day. He must have been staying at ours. He sometimes did this, sleeping on the sofa, but, at other times, he stayed in a hotel, see Chapter 114. Anyway, I noted that I needed to wake him at 6.30 am. I am not sure why I needed to do this and why dad did not just set an alarm. Probably, he did not have an alarm clock with him and I doubt that he would have asked mum to borrow hers! I also suspect that I did not mind getting up as it meant I would be able to see him before he left. As to why this fell to me and not one of my siblings, I suspect that I was with dad when he thought about it, that is at the last minute!
Leave a Reply