Grandad – Rev Hayman called to see me before he leaves Drayton, he is going to Colchester.
Mum – 7½ mile walk along Jubilee Path from Penmaumao to Dwygyvychi then Sychnant Pass & Echo Rock & over Conway mountain to Conway. Nice weather & nice walk – thanks to Alan’s company. Again nice to have Alan for fun & games in evening. Very lonely & depressed at night. Wrote letter to FR asking if there is any reason why people don’t seek my company – not sure whether to post it or not.
Notes
Rev Hayman Visited Grandad
Grandad noted that Rev Hayman came to see him before leaving Drayton and taking up a new post in Colchester, see Chapter 124. I believe Rev Hayman had been Methodist Minister based at Mile Cross Methodist Church since the late sixties.
Plas-y-Coed
Mum and my two younger siblings, Alan and Liz, were on holiday at Plas-y-Coed, a Methodist/Christian Guild Holidays property in Colwyn Bay, see Chapter 122. We had all been there the previous year, see Chapter 106. However, this year, I did not go nor did my older sister Tricia (Patricia). Plas-y-Coed was the Methodist/Christian Guild hotel in Colwyn Bay. It was demolished in 2014 and replaced with homes.
Walk from Penmaenmawr to Conwy
Mum noted that she walked from Penmaenmawr to Conwy, see Chapter 122, a distance of some 7½ miles. The walk started on the Jubilee Path which is an elevated circular path above Penmaenmawr. It was established in 1887 to celebrate Queen Victoria’s golden jubilee. It seems they walked along this path to Dwygyfylchi. They followed Sychnant Pass to Conwy. This took them past the high point of Echo Rock and over Conwy mountain (Mynydd y Dref).
Comment on Weather
Mum simply commented that the weather was nice.
Alan for Company
Alan refers to my younger brother who was 13 at this time. Mum noted that the walk she went on, see Chapter 122, was nice because of Alan’s company. She also appreciated his company for “fun and games” back at Plas-y-Coed in the evening. It seems mum was quite dependent on Alan to keep her company on this holiday, in general, and on this day, in particular. To me, this seems like an unfair responsibility which I would have hated! I am not sure what Alan thought. In general, I think he was much more accommodating over such things than I was!
Lonely and Depressed
Mum noted feeling very lonely and depressed at night. Mum had been troubled with loneliness since she and dad split up in 1973, see Chapter 114. During this period, mum also had severe struggles with her mental health, suffering with depression and anxiety, see Chapter 116.
Rev Dowson
FR refers to Rev F R Dowson. Frederick Rodham Dowson entered the Methodist ministry in 1936. He was born in Haxby, York on 5 August 1912 and he died in Selsey on 4 September 2011, aged 99. I believe he was superintendent Minister for the Park Lane circuit from 1968 to 1974. He and mum were close and they spoke and corresponded frequently, see Chapter 114. On this occasion, mum wrote him a letter asking if he thought there was any reason why people didn’t seek her company. However, she did not know whether to post it or not, presumably because she was concerned what answer she might get!
Reasons Why People Did Not Seek Mum’s Company?
I don’t know if mum did post this letter. I don’t think I have seen a response from him on this specifically. However, in his letter of January 1979, he appears to counsel gently against seeking to be too intense too quickly. He says, when a man… or a woman… falls in love, they don’t first ask about age and occupation and any marital ties, they fall in love. If they go on beyond that to express it, then it’s because they are told some of these things”.
I am not sure if it was true that people did not seek mum’s company. At this time, and throughout her life, mum had a wide circle of friends including some good, close friends. However, my observation would be that mum could be very intense and focused on herself. People could find this off-putting.
For example, if someone asked how she was, she might answer in depth often negatively. This might be fine if the person was really asking how she was but could be overwhelming if it was just part of a general greeting. In his letter of January 1979, Rev Dowson seems to counsel her gently on this issue saying that because she was in a better position than she was five to seven years ago, “I don’t think you need to turn to anyone in Norwich now with all the full story”.
Particularly towards the end of her life, she could come across as quite negative and rude and, it is perhaps not surprising that her circle of active friends dwindled dramatically then, see Chapter 114.
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