Mum’s Diary
Went to Tesco with P then to work. Nice. Rang Mr Green sec to see him Fri 5pm. Had letter from Roy saying I’ve cut him off from the children particularly P. Very upset about it. Rang Malcolm – to see him after Circuit Mtg. Went to Cir Mtg at St P. Mr R is really hopeless. Malcolm brought me home – talked about R letter & my reply. Sort of period started – dark red blood. Dr W (Thurs) said not to worry. No tabs.
Roger’s/My Diary
At lunch-time we played cricket and we won. Played football in PE. We won 6-5. I have been invited to a party by Spick it is taking place on the 16th October. This evening only did my Latin homework as that was all I had as I did all my other yesterday so I watched tele most of the time and had a bath.
Notes
Grocery Shopping
P refers to my older sister Tricia (Patricia). She and mum went early to Tesco, presumably to do grocery shopping, see Chapter 125.
Tesco
Tesco was, and is, a very well-known supermarket chain, see Chapter 125. It was formed by Jack Cohen in 1919. The name came from the initials of his tea supplier, T E Stockwell, and the first two letters of his own surname. I assume the Tesco mum went to was the one on Guildhall Hill. Tesco appears to have opened in Norwich in the 1960s at 4 Market Place and, since at least the early seventies, was based at 5 Guildhall Hill. I think the Market Place/Guildhall Hill addresses probably refer to the same place under different names. This shop was previously Chamberlin’s department store. Tesco closed their store here in 2022. Although plans were approved for a hotel on the site, it remains vacant currently. Apparently, there are plans to turn the upper floors to residential use while keeping the retail space on the ground floor.
Mum Worked for Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens
During this period, mum worked as part-time medical secretary for the private practice of two surgeons, Mr Ashken and Mr Stephens, see Chapter 121. This practice was based at 41 Newmarket Road. She worked all day on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and half day on Fridays. On this occasion, as it was a Tuesday, she worked all day. She went to work after shopping with my older sister Tricia (Patricia) at Tesco. She noted that she had a nice day at work.
Arranging an Appointment
Mum had had surgery for a kidney stone at the beginning of August 1976, see Chapter 116. This surgery had been carried out by Mr Ashken for whom mum worked. She had been found to have high levels of calcium in her blood (hypercalcaemia) and had been referred to renal physician Dr Jack Pryor who in turn had referred her to Mr Alan Green for parathyroid surgery. I believe the diagnosis of primary hyperparathyroidism had been made on clinical grounds but this was to be confirmed by measuring levels of parathyroid hormone in her blood and this blood test had been scheduled.
Because of mum’s work role, she was able to book private appointments directly so just phoned Mr Green’s secretary to do so. The appointment was for 5pm on Friday. I am not sure if mum was paying for the private appointments. I know that Mr Ashken had told her that she would receive private-type service, that is highly personalised care and a separate room, but would not need to pay. I am not sure, however, that his colleagues would or could have offered their services for free. I know mum was in communication with BUPA so it is possible by this point that she had private medical insurance. It is also possible that the care was a mixture of private, e.g. for consultations, and NHS, e.g. for surgery.
Mr Alan Green
I found Alan Green’s obituary in the EDP. In 2015, he died at the age of 87. Norman Alan Green was born on 2 July 1927 in Leicester. He studied at St Bartholomew’s. He married nurse Doreen Wright in 1951. They had four children. He spent three years in Norwich from 1954. He won a Fulbright scholarship in 1958 and went to Boston Hospital and Harvard Medical School. Then, he returned to Norwich in 1961 and established the city’s first urology service in 1966.
He retired in 1990. After retiring, he wrote obituaries for professional journals. He was a founder member and then President of the British Association of Clinical Anatomists and an external examiner for the Royal Colleges of Surgeons in England and Edinburgh. He was a musician playing piano to a high standard. I found other biographies on the Royal College of Surgeons of England website and on the Travelling Surgical Society website.
Letter from Dad
Roy refers to my father, Royle Drew. My parents had separated in 1973 and, at this point, dad was living and working in Birmingham, see Chapter 114. Mum had brought in a lawyer to start divorce proceedings, initially on the grounds that they had lived separately for more than two years. However, dad needed to agree to that and mum’s lawyer informed her that dad had not responded. He said there was nothing further he could do unless they moved to divorce on the basis of unreasonable behaviour. I think mum agreed to this as she noted that I asked her if she was divorcing dad on grounds of cruelty as that was apparently what he had told me.
Acrimonious Split
I recall that my parents separation was very acrimonious and I felt very much in the middle of it. It seems dad was irritated by mum’s moves on divorce and wrote to her saying that she was the one who had cut us off from him. Apparently, this was particularly the case for my older sister Tricia (P for Patricia).
A Word of Caution
All this needs to be interpreted with caution. Mostly, I only have my own dim recollections and mum’s diary to go on. My diary did sometimes touch on these matters but rarely and not very openly. I don’t think it was true that mum cut us off from dad, certainly not in my case. We were free to interact with him as we wished but I was aware that mum was not always happy about this for complex reasons including some of the things we did with him; the sense that he was the “fun” parent and she did all the tough stuff; and the fact that she wanted us to side with her in the conflict and not with him.
Navigating the Conflict
For me, I think I very much sided with dad at this time and I think that was the same for my younger sister Liz (Elizabeth). My brother Alan was a skilled diplomat and seemed to manage to get on well with both. Of course, I don’t know how that felt for him! My older sister Tricia (Patricia) tended to identify with mum I think and that may be why dad felt mum had cut her off from him. I think we each had our own strategies to navigate the parental conflict as best we could!
Anyway, mum was very upset by the letter and turned to friend and confidant Malcolm.
Malcolm Carter
Malcolm refers to Rev Malcolm Carter. He was a Methodist Minister who became mum’s friend and confidant, see Chapter 114. From Merseyside, he served in the ministry there and in Darlington and East Anglia. He was Minister at Court Hey Methodist Church from 1978 to 1986. He was the Methodist chaplain to Walton Prison, now HM Prison Liverpool, for 20 years. I found a YouTube video of him taking a service at Wonford Methodist Church in Exeter in July 2024. When he was in Norwich, he was mainly based at Bowthorpe Road Methodist Church. On this occasion, mum rang him about dad’s letter. He arranged to see her after the Circuit Meeting (Mtg). He gave her a lift back from that meeting then and they talked about dad’s letter and mum’s reply.
Circuit Meeting
Throughout the late seventies, mum’s roles within St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church meant that she attended various circuit-level meetings including on this occasion, see Chapter 124. I believe these meetings were chaired by St Peter’s senior Minister, the circuit’s superintendent Minister, Rev Ream (Mr R). Mum commented that he was “really hopeless“. It is fair to say that mum’s relationship with Rev Ream was very difficult. She had multiple grumbles about him, including poor chairing of meetings. However, mum’s diaries only convey her side of the story and I suspect Rev Ream would have seen it differently. It is also fair to say mum tended to think everything someone did was bad once they had had the misfortune of finding themselves in her bad books!
Rev William (Bill) George Bertram Ream
Rev Ream was born in Stockport in July 1912. He entered the Methodist ministry in 1935 and served in Newcastle-under-Lyme and High Wycombe before coming to Norwich in 1974. During his time at St Peter’s, he was active in Norwich Council of Churches and Amnesty International. Afterwards, he retired but remained in Norwich. He died in Norwich in July 1999.
A Sort of Period
Mum noted that she started a sort of period which she described as dark red blood. She had such problems at this time, including spotting and mid-period bleeding which ended up with her being referred for removal of a polyp and ultimately hysterectomy, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, her GP, Dr Welch (Dr W) tried to reassure her. Mum’s diary seems to indicate this was the next day and she added this detail to her entry for this day later.
Dr D M Welch
Dr D M Welch was one of the GPs at the Mile End Surgery that we had belonged to since we moved to Norwich, see Chapter 78. They also had a surgery in Tuckswood that mum sometimes used. This practice is now known as Castle Partnership.
Mum’s Medication
Mum tended to note the tablets (tabs) she took each day, particularly at night, see Chapter 116. On this occasion, she took no tablets.
Cricket at Lunch-time
I had just started in the sixth form at the Hewett School and I noted playing cricket at lunch-time, see Chapter 118. This was relatively unusual as we usually played football. What was even more unusual was that we won! This happened rarely as I was truly terrible at all sports. Nevertheless, I did sometimes experience winning in team sports but I am sure this was mostly through the exploits of my team-mates!
Lunch-time
Based on my family’s working class background in Nottinghamshire, we had tended to refer to our meals as dinner and tea. However, given that we had moved to Norwich in 1960, and possibly because we were becoming more middle class, some of that usage was changing and family members sometimes, and perhaps increasingly, referred to a midday meal as lunch, see Chapter 92 although we continued to refer to an afternoon or early evening meal as tea. Here, I referred to lunch-time at school.
Football in PE
I noted that we also played football in PE. I was doing this as part of general studies in sixth form, see Chapter 118. Remarkably, we also won here and I noted the score 6-5. It would have been practically unheard of for me to win in two different sports in one day and this, I am sure, why I noted it in my diary!
Invited to Party
I noted that I had been invited to a party, on 16 October, by my friend Michael Grey who was known by the nickname of “Spick“, see Chapter 118.
Michael Grey
Michael Grey was another friend of mine at Hewett, particularly in sixth form, see Chapter 118. I recall that he and Chris Gray spelled their surnames differently. I believe he was part of the school football team. In 1978, he passed A levels in applied maths, economics and history. He went on to study business studies at the City of London Polytechnic.
For some reason, at school, he was known by the nickname “Spick” and that is how I referred to him in my diaries. I confess that that name makes me uncomfortable now as I am aware of its connotations. However, I don’t believe I was aware of them then and I don’t believe there was any malice behind the name.
Michael Grey is second from right front row
Latin Homework
Homework was a pretty constant theme in my diary, not least because the volume we had increased significantly with the transition to sixth form, see Chapter 118. However, on this occasion, I noted that I did not have that much to do, as I had done all my other homework the previous night. I only had Latin to do. I was still studying for Latin O level as this was a three-year course from Form 4 meaning we only took the exam at the end of lower sixth.
TV and Bath
This meant I had time in the evening to relax, watch TV, see Chapter 122, and have a bath. I did not record what I watched and, from a local TV Guide, there are a number of possibilities. I clearly recall “This is Your Life” and watched it on many occasions. I also vaguely remember the science programme “Don’t Ask Me” with Magnus Pyke. I watched a lot of “Carry On” films around that time and earlier, although I don’t specifically recall “Carry on Jack“. They were all pretty much a much of a muchness! Sometimes watched “Softly, Softly” although I did not like it as much as “The Sweeney“. I almost always watched sport when I could so “Sportsnight” is another possibility.
