Mum – Went to hos. chapel service at 5pm. nice. Mr A came in am. Pain in back seems better but still going to ask Dr. Mehta to see me. Nurse washed my hair in aft. P, Mum & A Amy came. PRE came. P & Andrew brought me service on tape at night, but pain v. bad. Had good night eventually.
Roger – Quite a leisurely day. Dad and I walked to the shop to buy a newspaper and after lunch Patricia went to see mum. Grandma and Auntie Amy came for tea. I beat them at scrabble. I went to see mum this evening with Liz. We are both going to Birmingham with dad tomorrow. Afterwards I had a bath and ironed some shirts. Tricia has taken the car to Reliance. Dad has just come in from the pub. Tricia is talking to Andrew.
Notes
Post-op Recovery
Mum was in the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital having had surgery for a renal stone the previous Sunday, see Chapter 116. She noted that the pain in her back seemed better although it was very bad again at night. She noted that she had had a good night “eventually” which perhaps implies she slept well but had trouble getting off to sleep.
Hospital Chapel
At 5 pm, she notes that she went to the hospital chapel service. The chapel in what is now the former Norfolk and Norwich Hospital dates back to 1879. It is a grade 2 listed building. Apparently, it became a community venue under a team from St Stephen’s Church in 2016.
Mr Ashken
Mum’s surgery had been conducted by Mr Ashken (Mr A). During this period, mum was working as part-time medical secretary for his private practice and that of another surgeon, Mr Stephens, see Chapter 121. Michael Ralph Handley Ashken was consultant urologist at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital from 1968 to 1996. He was also President of the British Association of Urological Surgeons from 1994 to 1996. He was born in 1931 and he died in 2016. Mum was part-time secretary for his private practice from 1975 to 1980.
Mum noted that he came to see her in the morning. Although her back pain was better, he was still going to ask Dr Mark Mehta to see her.
Dr Mark Mehta
I came across a short biography co-written by Mr Ashken. Mark Mehta was a consultant in anaesthesia and pain relief at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital from 1966-86, see Chapter 116. He was born in India in 1924 and he qualified from St Bartholomew’s in 1947. From 1958-66, he was a consultant in King’s Lynn. Later, he developed a pain relief clinic in Norwich. In 1973, he produced his first book on intractable pain. He was president of the Intractable Pain Society from 1978 to 1980. He died after coronary artery bypass surgery on 23 June 2000 leaving a wife, Joy, two sons and two daughters.
Hair Washed
Mum noted that one of the nurses washed her hair in the afternoon (aft).
Visitors
Mum noted the people who came to visit her. P refers to my older sister Tricia (Patricia). It seems she may have visited at the same time as grandma and family friend, Amy Wilson. I noted that Tricia went to see mum in the afternoon and that, after that, grandma and Auntie Amy came for tea. We always referred to Amy Wilson as Auntie Amy despite her not actually being related to us! This was part of the culture of that time of referring to all adults by surname or as auntie or uncle.
PRE refers to me and my two sisters, Tricia (Patricia) and Liz (Elizabeth). My brother Alan was missing from that list as he was away at Boys’ Brigade camp, see Chapter 124. In my diary, I noted that I visited with Liz in the evening. We tended to go as pairs presumably because visiting was limited to two people at a time.
Mum noted that when Tricia (P) came at night, she came with Andrew Wright, who mum and Tricia knew through church. They brought an audio recording of a service from St Peter’s Park Lane Methodist Church. I noted that Andrew came back to ours and that he and Tricia were talking at the time I was writing my diary. .
Leisurely Day
I noted having “quite a leisurely day“. In the morning, I imagine that my sisters went to church although I do not say so explicitly. My parents had been separated since 1973 and, at this time, my father Royle Drew was living and working in Birmingham, see Chapter 114. However, he was visiting us for the weekend. I noted that he and I walked to the shop to buy a newspaper which was something I quite often did on a Sunday morning. From memory, I used to get these papers from Earlham House Shopping Centre which was close to where we lived in College Road, see Chapter 117.
Visitors for Tea
I noted that grandma and Auntie Amy came for tea, presumably after they had seen mum at the hospital. While I did not say so explicitly, I assume this means dad went out as he had avoided seeing grandma since mum and dad had separated in 1973, see Chapter 114. It is very possible that he took refuge in the pub as I noted that he came back from there later that night.
Scrabble
I noted that I played Scrabble with grandma and Auntie Amy and won! Although there were similar games with different names before this, the name Scrabble was first used in America in 1948 with sets first being sold in the UK in 1955.
Going to Birmingham
I noted that my younger sister, Liz, and I were going to Birmingham with dad the next day. This was where he was living and working, and he was in the process of buying a house, see Chapter 114. We were going to help him with moving and settling in.
Bath and Ironing
I noted that, when I got back from seeing mum at the hospital, I had a bath and ironed shirts, see Chapter 126. While it was relatively unusual for men to do ironing then, mum had brought us up to share chores relatively evenly. While I am sure mum would have done my ironing had she been there, there was a clear shared expectation that if I wanted ironing done in her absence I would do it myself.
The Car
My older sister Tricia (Patricia) was 18 at this point and she had passed her driving test. So, she took the car to the garage. I am not sure exactly why it had to go. At this point, mum had a Simca that she and dad had bought in February 1972 before they split up, see Chapter 110. It had broken down in Glasgow at the end of a holiday mum had taken with my younger siblings Alan and Liz. They had travelled home by train and plane and the car had been brought home by AA relay with a burned out clutch two days previously. It seems that the car had been brought to ours and not taken to the garage. I have no idea how Tricia managed to get the car to the garage as I don’t believe it was driveable.
Reliance Garage
Reliance Garage was founded in 1928. Ernest Holden joined the following year and acquired the business in 1943. In 1946, the business moved to premises at 22 Heigham Street. The Holden Group was formed in 1970 and continues to operate from the Heigham Road premises. From at least 1961 to 1972, Reliance were advertised as Simca Distributors.
